grace

feeling a little bit better now physically but i still need to see a doc, i could feel that something's wrong with me. but what i'm loving now is the restored intimacy with my Savior. i just love talking and listening to Him, nothing could beat that feeling. and as i've said before and will continuously say in the future, "just give me Jesus and i'll be alright".

sometimes i tend to doubt God. i sometimes doubt if the things i believe in are all true and if it's all worth it, but when i take a good look at my life and how He's kept me all these years, how He's changed me and continually changing me i know in my heart of hearts that it's all true and it's more than worth it. there's nothing in this life worth exchanging my Jesus for. yeah, we may say that we don't do that but our choices in life show just how easy it was to exchange Him for something without even being aware of it. i am guilty of that and praying and hoping to be less and less guilty of it as time goes by.

me, negative?

i am literally hurting all over that i wanna quit already, i'm tired. but God has given me the spirit of a fighter that just wanna keep on and also i don't have that luxury, i just can't quit.

a lot of people who'd hear this would of course deem me as being negative again. they just don't know how big a spirit and amount of positivism it require to be like me. i am so tired already, is it bad to say that when it's the truth? when it's how i really feel? but in times like this i could feel God touching me, had i not been a Christian i would have given up a long time ago already. but He's there. He's my fortress, my hiding place, my anchor. Oh, how i praise You!

2009 in review

time for the year-end review... so, how was my 2009?

the year that's just gone out was a trying one but all throughout those trying moments i still saw God's hands moving. He remained faithful despite my unfaithfulness, lack of faith and disobedience. yeah He stayed faithful but what i've missed the most is the intimacy that we used to share.

so, what caused it to go? constant disobedience and my lack of time with Him. yeah, i still go to church and all but somehow i took my personal relationship with Him for granted. we've stopped talking so i've stopped hearing and listening. and i wanna rectify that this year.

career wise, though there were constant struggles it looks like God wants me to stay with my present employer. in almost 2 yrs that i've been here i was able to bring colleagues to church and that's one of the things that i thank God for. i wanna bring more souls to Christ this year.

lovelife? did it my way and i'm not proud of it. i wanna go back to where i was when God and i were still so intimate with each other. no man could ever fill the space that's meant just for Him. and what i wanna do this year is to leave all those baggages behind and go back to the Lover of my soul. i am happier with Him.

this is gonna be a better year.