gutsy me??!

the 1st step to getting the things you want out of life is this: you have to decide what it is that u really want!

Which reminds me of this Bible passage;

James 1:7-8 (Amplified Bible) For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord, [For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides].

i am not the most decisive of all people but when i want something, i really go for it to the point that i don't even ask GOD anymore whether it's what HE wanted for me or not. they used to call me a go-getter way back in college but i've lost some of those guts already. like yesterday, i saw this old college crush at the mall but instead of saying hi i just decided to act as if i didn't see him. we didn't part in good terms way back then. he was the most obnoxious and the most inconsiderate guy i've ever met, aside from sunshine of course. and that college guy really knew how to pursue just because he wanted something from me. i think that was the first time that i totally got turned off with somebody that i really find attractive.

ok, so what's my point? i think it's ok to lose some of the gutsiness.... it's ok to not go after what u really want as long as you're sure that it's not what GOD wants for u. it's ok to be double minded but only when it's a choice between evil and good.

who's/what's your EGYPT?

Jeremiah 42:11-22


11 Do not fear the king of Babylon anymore,' says the Lord. 'For I am with you and will save you and rescue you from his power. 12 I will be merciful to you by making him kind, so he will let you stay here in your land.'

13 "But if you refuse to obey the Lord your God, and if you say, 'We will not stay here; 14 instead, we will go to Egypt where we will be free from war, the call to arms, and hunger,' 15 then hear the Lord's message to the remnant of Judah. This is what the Lord of Heaven's Armies, the God of Israel, says: 'If you are determined to go to Egypt and live there, 16 the very war and famine you fear will catch up to you, and you will die there. 17 That is the fate awaiting every one of you who insists on going to live in Egypt. Yes, you will die from war, famine, and disease. None of you will escape the disaster I will bring upon you there.'

18 "This is what the Lord of Heaven's Armies, the God of Israel, says: 'Just as my anger and fury have been poured out on the people of Jerusalem, so they will be poured out on you when you enter Egypt. You will be an object of damnation, horror, cursing, and mockery. And you will never see your homeland again.'

19 "Listen, you remnant of Judah. The Lord has told you: 'Do not go to Egypt!' Don't forget this warning I have given you today. 20 For you were not being honest when you sent me to pray to the Lord your God for you. You said, 'Just tell us what the Lord our God says, and we will do it!' 21 And today I have told you exactly what he said, but you will not obey the Lord your God any better now than you have in the past. 22 So you can be sure that you will die from war, famine, and disease in Egypt, where you insist on going."

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as i was reading this passage in the Bible the other day, it made me think of the many ways we try to overtake God. thinking that we know better than HIM. yeah, some of the things that we want could look as if it's the best thing that could ever happen to us and nothing will ever go wrong because it looks so promising.

just like how the remnants of judah looked at egypt. they think that the Lord's keeping them from something that's good, "13 "But if you refuse to obey the Lord your God, and if you say, 'We will not stay here; 14 instead, we will go to Egypt where we will be free from war, the call to arms, and hunger,..." so they insisted on going despite the Lord's warning.

many of us were like this, when we ask something from GOD and HE says 'no' we often think that He's being mean and selfish and that He doesn't love us at all. often times we forget just how good GOD is and that He will never withhold anything from us if it will be good for us.

may we all remember that God has a bird's eyeview of our life as opposed to us who could only see what's directly in front of us. let's entrust everything to HIM. He has a plan :-)

just a thought

got a glimpse of who i really am and chickened out...tsk tsk

how?

how do u say it when you're not even allowed to give a hint?
how do u quiet a heart that continually shouts his name?
how do u hug someone when u can't even touch him?
how do u say i love you without uttering a word?
how do u act it out without scaring him away?
how do u stop your heart from crying out everytime u see him?

BEATS ME!

i am affected and i miss him so much. i thought we're friends, how come we're not even talking?

ms bloopers

i commit lot of bloopers when i don't have enough sleep and here's one

"hi ****! just can't help but notice that there seems to be that inexpressible discomfort between the two of us for the past few days... hope this sandwich will make up for my shortcomings...

enjoy your breakfast! :-)"


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1:36am of aug 13 (friday)

yeah, all bloopers! but it's nothing, i'll be over it in no time at all. and come to think of it, i just noticed him when he started giving me attention (normal girl) and without it then he'll be back to being black & white. but anyhow, i thank him for coloring my world even for a while. and if nothing else, he cut the ties that were holding me back from exploring new frontiers.

glad he's courageous enough to come forward and discuss this with me. no harm done:-)

why?

i treasure you because....
> we share the same faith
> we have the same FATHER
> i could talk to you about how wonderful our God is
> i love your child-like heart
> i admire your willingness to serve our Savior
> you could make me laugh
> you could make me smile
> you take "boring" out of everyday
> i love the way your eyes spark whenever you smile at me
> i like the way we make faces at each other instead of just smiling
> i love the way you texts/email me ( used to)
> u could make me submit to you
> i know i could trust you

and i know that the list could go on once i've gotten to know you better

proverbs

The whole book of Proverbs is about wisdom and how to make life work. The verse that struck me the most in chapter 1 though was verse 7

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction"

This verse, in a way, summarizes the whole book of Proverbs. This book is about God's wisdom written in a way that we humans could understand.

In the world's point of view, a fool is someone with low IQ or somebody who's way below average when it comes to intelligence but in a Biblical concept, it's anybody who ignores GOD's wisdom.

As humans, we often fall into doing the wrong things without even thinking of its consequences. And what's worse is when we keep on being wayward Christians, being complacent about the effects of our actions, we lose claim of GOD's promises and protection

24 I called you so often, but you wouldn't come.
I reached out to you, but you paid no attention.
25 You ignored my advice
and rejected the correction I offered.
26 So I will laugh when you are in trouble!
I will mock you when disaster overtakes you
27 when calamity overtakes you like a storm,
when disaster engulfs you like a cyclone,
and anguish and distress overwhelm you.

28 When they cry for help, I will not answer.
Though they anxiously search for me, they will not find me.
29 For they hated knowledge
and chose not to fear the Lord.
30 They rejected my advice
and paid no attention when I corrected them.
31 Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way,
choking on their own schemes.
32 For simpletons turn away from me to death.
Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.


But for those who listen to HIS instructions, HIS promise is this;

33 But all who listen to me will live in peace,
untroubled by fear of harm.

We all need to take GOD's hands and let HIM lead us to the right direction. For me, that's wisdom.

i miss him and i feel like crying

???

i see u almost everyday, how come i still miss u?

plot

watching/experiencing the unfolding of a story.... don't know the ending yet but i love playing the part coz i could see His hands in all the twists and turns. and even if it doesn't end the way i want to, i would still be grateful for this experience. what an exciting GOD i have!

i've always thought that it's gonna be a big revelation but with the rate things are going it looks like it's gonna be more of an unfolding than a revelation. i'm excited... loving the twists and turns of the story that He has written specifically for me.

he who said that christianity is boring hasn't experienced my LORD yet.

me to earth

i've misread him, glad i'm back to normal

should i or should i not?

our old dg in church will have this thanksgiving gathering on saturday at the aic tower in ortigas, not sure if i can make it though. it actually makes me sad coz i really wanna be there. i wanna see the old dg members but for some can't-mention-here reason i won't be able to. this is one of those moments when i'm getting reminded of the reality of it all. it sucks but it's not all about me. i could go but i chose not to and that's my problem.

i miss them.

the heart

"since the heart is the womb of our character there are times when we need to guard it, lest things that have no business being inside break and enter. but there are also times when we need to give our heart away, releasing traits that need to be put to use for the good of others and to the glory of God."

i pray for God to give me the strength and wisdom to know when to release it. i want my heart to be free of any encumbrances. it's not as agile anymore. not as resilient as it used to be. i ought to be more careful.

though this guy really makes me happy and beaming i still don't know how he feels about me. it's scary and crazy to give my heart away this early.

i want my heart to just stay with you, LORD.

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER - Gerard Kenny

LAST SONG SYNDROME ;-)