Clarity

Why do I want someone who can't give me even a drop of what I really want and need in a partner?

Sunk cost
Attraction of deprivation

Wishes

I wish I could say or do something that would erase your hatred of me. :(

Getting tired?

Ouchie

I already have my long overdue period but something's definitely wrong. First off I've been having cramps 4-5 days before this bleeding. And normally once I already have it, cramping would stop but this time it did not and as a matter of fact it even got worse. Now my lower back has this persistent ache and also in my lower abdomen.

Time to see a doctor. :(

Update:

So I went to the doctors and found out that I wasn't on the family way at all. It was actually myoma and not a baby. Though I wasn't ready for a baby at all, somehow I still wished that my inkling's true. The baby would've been my lifetime connection with him. Sadly, my wish didn't come true.

Now I have to decide whether I want to have it operated or not.

Lazy

I don't feel like doing anything. I feel so lazy. Could I be... ?

Lazing around

Minis

U might have noticed that I've been posting a lot lately. It's because of my new phone, an Xperia Z, and this bloggeroid app that I've installed. Posting's now a breeze!

I haven't turned my laptop on for months now because with my Kindle Fire and Xperia Z, who needs it?!

Argh

Cobwebs in my mind
Shackles on my soul
Spirit in shambles

...but do I regret doing it?
GOD forbid, I don't think I do. :(

The months that we were together were surreal.
Nobody would believe that we've ever done it
Even my friends doubted it at first
For close to 5 years, he was just a dream.
Could u blame me if I finally caved in?

Again the line from the movie City of Angels comes to mind,
" I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One."

I'm smitten :(

May 30

was the last time we were 'together' and I'm missing him more each day.

Pathetic.

hate

I wish the saying is true that the more you hate, the more u love. Why? Because right now he hates me so much that he doesn't even want to see me.

Why do we bring out the worst in each other? :(

Sleepless

It's only now that it has sinked in... I'm not going to the US this year.

Spent a lot and all my plans were geared towards leaving. Gotta make new ones again.

Life, once again, is a drag.