good to be back

have u ever felt so tamed that you've already forgotten what it feels like to be 'you'? i did. i became so legalistic on some areas that it's no longer normal nor enjoyable. it's good to know that GOD still loves me despite my being imperfect and that i could be myself and still glorify HIM.


as we have discussed in our Company of 3, GOD wants me to be a woman; to feel & act like one. HE made me this way so i must play the role. i could still flirt, have fun & all but i must never forget to check myself every now & then to see if what i'm doing still glorifies GOD. so, how do i strike a balance?


like in case of this new guy at work, there's nothing wrong in flirting with him but i must always keep in mind that before anything else my focus should be in introducing him to CHRIST and not on dating him. i should also check myself whether i'm already crossing the line between having fun and disobeying GOD.

in short, " Love GOD with all your heart and soul, then do what u wanna do."

much needed rest

it's good to be home for the weekends... missed my bed. spoke with mike(NJ)last night and though i've lost most of the attraction towards him, it's still good to touch base and know what's going on in each other's lives. of course i told him about this new mike at work and he asked right away if this new guy could make me laugh the way he did in the past. i don't know.... hopefully. he tried, didn't he?

so easy...

to slip away... to be turned by the tide and go back to where u once were. keep me in your arms, never let me go.

i wanna stay.

on meekness

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."

Matthew 5:5

Meekness is strength under control. It is also quiet confidence. The meek do not give in to the worldly pressures to conform. They do not perform merely to prove something. They are securely planted in God. Their only concern is that they may live a life pleasing to GOD. The meek understand their purpose in life. Their passion in life is simply to fulfill their destiny. God gladly entrusts these kind of people with great responsibility.

Reflection:

Quiet confidence, as a friend puts it, is "audience of ONE. Looks at the heart". First and foremost, we must strive on pleasing the Lord and not the world. If the world wants us to compromise our belief and purpose in life and conform to its desire, we must turn our back and follow God despite the insults that they will throw in our way.

Keep your focus on GOD and everything will fall in place. That's already been tried and tested!

i was telling God just the other day that i miss those times that He had made me cry with tears of joy and then yesterday i had that experience with Him again. But this time the tears of joy didn't come with an answered prayer.... it was totally different. He had me feel His presence, so overwhelming that it made me cry. I don't wanna sound too spiritual but He really flooded my heart with peace and joy and this quiet confidence that no matter what happens He's there.

GOD is a relational god. He wants us to experience HIM fully, everyday and every moment of our lives. There's nothing better than having HIM as your comrade.

I LOVE MY LORD!

one of the songs that really touches my heart

As The Deer

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Chorus
You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

You're my friend and You are my brother,
Even though you are a king.
I love you more thank any other,
So much more than anything.

I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy Giver,
And the apple of my eye.

shower thoughts

i've been trying to show/convince my sister for weeks/months now that she could be making a grave mistake in pushing through with her relationship with her bf. yeah, their relationship's kinda rocky but at least they have a relationship.

do i want my sister to go back to where she was before; longing and waiting to be loved? maybe their relationship's not as bad as i thought. maybe i should give the guy a chance.

speaking of longing, for the past days i've been missing schatz a lot. i don't know what triggered it but it's there and it's not a good feeling at all. but this is just a passing phase... as all else, this too will pass.

awake

woke up in the middle of the night, tried going back to sleep but couldn't. instead of trying to catch more winks, i decided to blog.

just yesterday i came across this blog (through Kuya Kevin's) of a woman named Theresa. and i really admire her for being a good writer and for having the courage to discuss everything on her blog. me, i'm still a coward when it comes to that. i can't even show my whole face in here. what am i scared of anyways?

though i appear (most of the time) confident on the outside, there are still things/events that intimidate me and one of the most feared ones happened in the office the other day. and much as i didn't want to, i wore the same mask again when incidents like that happen. i remember the apostle paul saying in romans 7, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

when will i stop wearing this mask and come out in the open about it? if i've already accepted it fully, then why can't i talk about it openly?

sorrow

"Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:16

"Thou hast turned my mourning into dancing; Thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness"

Psalm 30:1

Sorrow is part of life. Everyone goes through a period of sorrow and mourning. Consequently, spiritual breakthrough happens when we begin to see beyond the pain and catch the heart of God: when we attain this spiritual condition, we begin to be grieved by the same things which sadden God - sin and the lost. Our comfort only returns when we are moved enough to do something about the sin in our own lives and begin to reach out to the lost. This is the kind of mourning that turns to joy.

REFLECTION:

When we start grieving for the things that concern God that means that we have, somehow, caught the essence of God's heart. We only get comforted when we start looking beyond our hurts and pains. Just like Jesus who gave His life for us in calvary. Didn't He leave the comforts of heaven just so He could reach out to us, the lost ones. I wanna have that kind of love and compassion for the losts. To reach out to them despite discomforts and pains.

I once was lost but then He found me, that's why i wanna share this experience with those people who are not aware that our God is real and alive. And that you could fully experience Him in this life and not just in the life after.

As a Christian, I am commissioned by God to do that. No ifs, no buts. I pray that i will have the courage and the passion to obey His command to go and share the good news.

Someone asked me this, "What it is that you have that you want to share with the people around you, especially your loved ones?" And without a doubt i answered, " JESUS"