Decisions

I'm still undecided whether I wanna go under the knife or not. I'm scared :(

Sometimes...

I still wish...
That I was just like everybody else..
That my struggles were not too different from theirs....
That I could do whatever I want...
... To travel to distant places and purposely get lost, dance, run, sit on the grass, go hiking...

Anything, Lord that's out of my daily routine.

Tired

Exactly how I feel

Immeasurable

Should I just harden my heart in order not to feel pain? Should I block everything that's painful? Didn't I wanna cry? I'm scared. I'm not used to it anymore.

But then my heart decided to love him without measure.