auf wiedersehen...Bis ich Sie wieder sehe

back... haven't been updating much lately because i'm so busy living life. hehe!

anyways, i'm now ??! and actually got a bit shock when my period became erratic these past 2 months. am i nearing menopause? it's a scary thought, actually. not just because i still wanna have kid/s of my own but it's a big wake-up call that i'm really not young anymore. with that thought in mind, i'm actually thinking of adopting a baby already. should i or should i not? it'll be a big responsibility, i know but when will i start? when i'm already in my 40s? it's in my prayer lists.... i wanna make sure that it is within the LORD's will for me to take in another life into my so-called existence.

the LORD has been doing things in my heart lately and if things keep at its course i will be totally free from years of bondage. and this i've learned, bondage doesn't mean you're addicted to something that is bad... it could actually take the form of holiness or something that "U THINK" will be good for u, but of course our FATHER knows best. that's why it took me years to get over it, because i thought that that's the best thing that could happen to me. but i have to let go of that thought. i have to tell myself that maybe there's something better than what i thought is best for me. our LORD can give me another story that is also pretty interesting to tell over and over again. that's what i want, LORD... a beautiful story, something that u Yourself had written.

it actually feels good to let go of it!

HIS guidance

“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17)

this is so true... just when i thought i'm already out there and sailing away from what is real, HE rescued me and led me back to the right direction. it's been a rough ride, it still is, but HE's with me and i'm sure HE'll carry me through.

the mini retreat i've had with my friends helped a lot. their lives are good example how great our GOD is and that i shouldn't trade HIM with something that is too temporal. i wanna reclaim my post in GOD's army and fight this battle that had so easily entangled me.

some might ask, what for? why not enjoy life and make the most of what's in front of u? had i not known CHRIST and HIS goodness, love, mercy and grace i might have done just that... but since my eyes had been opened already, i know that there's more to life than temporary pleasures. there's more to life than money, relationship and fame. we're not meant to live here forever. this is just a fraction, even less, of eternity. so the life that will come after this is what we should prepare for... this world is just our training ground. nothing of what we have here will last.