2014

Praying for a strong resolve so I could leave all the unnecessary baggage of 2014 behind. Hoping to start the new year with a clean slate.
Thank you, Lord for a colorful 2014! Thank you for my family and friends. Help me to remember not only the good times but also the lessons that You wanted me to learn. Help me to become wiser, stronger, healthier, more compassionate, faithful and giving this coming year.

Thank you for continually pursuing me, not because I am worth pursuing but only because YOU love me. YOU are indeed the Lover of my soul and YOU are more than enough.

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Home

I never thought that i would still miss my grandparents at this time and age. They've passed on for decades already. But everytime i get sick it's still them i miss. And it hit me again, that i have nowhere to call home anymore. My grandparents were my home.

At 42, i'm still a little girl at heart. Their precious apo. Nobody treats me like that anymore. And i feel so isolated and alone.

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Trust

Sometimes, most of the time rather, life doesnt turn out the way we want it to. Our prayers go unanswered or the opposite of what we've prayed for is what would actually transpire.

In times like this is when we should trust Him more. But how? Just know that He's got your best interest in mind. Just have faith that it'll all work out in the end.

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Acceptance

I just noticed, every time i need to accept something that's kinda unpalatable, i get sick.

Learned from a friend that he has transferred to eastwood already, meaning there's really no chance of me seeing him anymore. And no chance for us to get back together again.

that realization got me sick but it's really time to move on. :(

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Broken

"God is most pleased with us when we are most satisfied in Him."

I often hear Christians say this, but where is this in the Bible? But if ever it's true, then God is definitely not pleased with me right now. I am not happy nor am i satisfied in Him.

I'm sorry lord, but i know you know what's in my heart even if i don't say it.

Make me understand why You have to do that repeatedly and frequently . I'm hurting, literally .

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Bruised

Will it ever stop, lord? What lesson are you trying to teach me? I'm already tired. :(

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Coping

It's been more than 2 months now that i havent seen him and i'm missing him so much. Though i know that i made the right decision to put a stop to whatever it was that we had, it doesnt keep me from missing him.

I tried to win him back but he's now totally ignoring my messages and calls. He rang me once and i thought that was a good sign but now that he's not replying to my messages anymore im thinking that maybe that ring was unintentional.

I miss him so much. His smell, his voice, the noises he make, his touch, his smile, his eyes, neck, chest... im missing his whole being.

Help me get over this, Lord.

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Test

New phone

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Cracked

I've lost count of the times we've said it's over but is this finally it?

How could something that doesn't even have a label hurt like the real thing once it ends?

Help me, Lord!

Done

Though hard, I really hope that this is the end of our story...

Unless God has a different plan

Finally...

Goodbye?? For good?

Reasons

I see no reason why I should keep on, but still I do.
Love or desperation?
I kept on looking for characteristics that I could like in you, but nothing comes to mind except for your looks.
Would I still love u once u lose it?

Question

Why do you not love yourself?

I was asked this by a newly found friend and I honestly don't know how to answer that.

Yes, why?