birthday prayer

Psalm 18:16-19

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

thank you, DAD for giving me another year! thanks so much for the blessings; for my family, friends, colleagues and ministry partners. i thank YOU even for the trials, LORD because i know that YOU won't let me suffer without a purpose. thanks a lot for the lessons learned through those hardships. i'm sorry for failing YOU over and over again. sorry for causing YOU heartaches. sorry for not doing YOUR will.
make me a better person this year, DAD. purify my heart, dear LORD. i wanna serve YOU just for the simple reason that i love you and that i want to bring more souls to you. don't let me get side tracked. don't let money, pleasure or anything that i think i need get in the way of this desire to serve YOU. give me the wisdom to know what it is that YOU really want me to do. use me, LORD. this year i wanna stop hiding. use my rarity to show the world that YOU could make a somebody completely out of a nobody. help me proclaim my rarity and not be ashamed of it. give me the courage and strength to be vulnerable, to risk being ridiculed in exchange for being loved for who i truly am. and if that man never comes, if it's not your will for me to get married, then just take away this desire, LORD. i don't want this year to be swamped with that consuming desire anymore.

but thank you so much for showing me that i could still be loved despite of who i am. thanks a lot for loving me, DAD however crooked and broken i am. i'm giving u back my life and will do it over and over again. use whatever is left of it for your glory. and if i won't be of use here anymore then just take me home. i wanna go home.

but since i'm still here, i commit to YOU yet another year of my life. use me!