september's a critical month for me and my emotions. from previous entries i've alredy mentioned that i tend to become uber sensitive during my birth month. and the devil's been playing with this ... wanting me to make a big fuss out of everything and hate everybody who wouldn't speak my love language and make me feel loved and appreciated. it's scary, really! so i prayed for GOD to show me HIS love and make me feel loved, cherished and whatever mushy feeling i wanna feel.
after praying this, i opened my bible.... and this is what HE gave me;
Jeremiah 42
v 5 & 6 Then they said to Jeremiah, “May the Lord your God be a faithful witness against us if we refuse to obey whatever he tells us to do! Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we are sending you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us.”
v 8-12 So he called for Johanan son of Kareah and the other guerrilla leaders, and for all the people, from the least to the greatest. He said to them, “You sent me to the Lord, the God of Israel, with your request, and this is his reply: ‘Stay here in this land. If you do, I will build you up and not tear you down; I will plant you and not uproot you. For I am sorry about all the punishment I have had to bring upon you. 11 Do not fear the king of Babylon anymore,’ says the Lord. ‘For I am with you and will save you and rescue you from his power. I will be merciful to you by making him kind, so he will let you stay here in your land.’
and the rest of the chapter goes like this;
13 “But if you refuse to obey the Lord your God, and if you say, ‘We will not stay here; 14 instead, we will go to Egypt where we will be free from war, the call to arms, and hunger,’ 15 then hear the Lord’s message to the remnant of Judah. This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: ‘If you are determined to go to Egypt and live there, 16 the very war and famine you fear will catch up to you, and you will die there. 17 That is the fate awaiting every one of you who insists on going to live in Egypt. Yes, you will die from war, famine, and disease. None of you will escape the disaster I will bring upon you there.’
18 “This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: ‘Just as my anger and fury have been poured out on the people of Jerusalem, so they will be poured out on you when you enter Egypt. You will be an object of damnation, horror, cursing, and mockery. And you will never see your homeland again.’
19 “Listen, you remnant of Judah. The Lord has told you: ‘Do not go to Egypt!’ Don’t forget this warning I have given you today. 20 For you were not being honest when you sent me to pray to the Lord your God for you. You said, ‘Just tell us what the Lord our God says, and we will do it!’ 21 And today I have told you exactly what he said, but you will not obey the Lord your God any better now than you have in the past. 22 So you can be sure that you will die from war, famine, and disease in Egypt, where you insist on going.”
i've read this passage before and i remember even posting it here but today itt gave me a different message... another proof that GOD's word is indeed alive and speaks to us. so where's the love here that i was asking from HIM. HIS way is really different. i am not a spiritual child anymore, i've been in HIS family for quite some time now and GOD knows that i don't need that much mushy stuff anymore just so i would feel loved and needed. GOD loves me, that's for sure. but instead of feeding my 'not-so-right state of mind' HE decided to give me the hard truth. just like the israelites in verses 5-8 i would often say that i would do what HE wants me to do. just an hour ago i was actually thinking of withdrawing from all gift givings and showing of love to my siblings just so i wouldn't expect anything from them anymore and i was actually harboring hatred in my heart. and what is GOD's word about hating?
one of the many verses is
Leviticus 19:17a - Do not hate your brother in your heart.
and yet i was actually contemplating on doing just that. and the rest of the chapters of Jeremiah 42 tells of the consequences of going against God's word. if i go ahead and harbor hatred in my heart, i would be the one who would suffer from it in the end. it would kill my heart, my relationship with my siblings and my testimony.
so what if they don't love me? GOD loves me and HE's there for me. and there are people there who cares... my dgroup friends love me and maybe some other people also do but they just don't know how to speak my love language.
and GOD's clear message for me today is in v 19 “Listen, you remnant of Judah. The Lord has told you: ‘Do not go to Egypt!’ Don’t forget this warning I have given you today."
egypt right now represents hatred. and yes, i won't go there.
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